Tag Archive: marriage

How to maintain a long term joyous marriage relationship
1. Kiss your wife every day.
2. Hug your wife every day.
3. Say “I love you” to your wife every day.
4. Do some kind thing for her every day as a thank you to her.
5. Appreciate verbally some kindness that she has done for you every day.
6. Let your wife talk and just LISTEN to the things she wants to talk about.
    In other words, BE QUIET, she’s not really asking that you give her an 
    answer.  If she wants you to comment, she’ll ask.
7. NEVER EVER LIE to your wife!!!!  You will kill the trust and respect she has
    for you.
8. Don’t even THINK about sleeping with someone else.  Wrong thoughts,
    words and actions kill the spirit within us, and darken our journey.  Lack
    of purity leads directly to divorce, literally a separation from the good
    we access to and experience in our lives.
The sun’s symbolism:
      The sun ALWAYS shines universally and without fail.  It brings warmth,
      a form of caring for everyone.  
Unconditional love’s symbolism:
      Our love SHOULD ALWAYS shine universally and without fail.  It brings
      warmth, a form of caring for us and every one else.
Our problems in life are never out there or even part of us, but a conceptualization of our own thinking ALWAYS.  Problems have to be healed
in our own thinking, whether they are self-inflicted, or essentially a universal belief of humanity that needs to be addressed.  Our expression of unconditional
love helps us to overcome our challenges, either in the short term or in the
long term, depending upon how our character qualities need to change for the
better, slow or fast.  

Year one

Brian and Beckie at Rascall FlattsThis month will be one year since I got married.  This was the biggest mistake I have ever made. I dated this woman for almost 3yrs without having sex. We did everything according to the church and it turned out to be the worst decision I have ever made.

I finally got a place to live and I love it. I also have a great job working with some amazing people I tend to feel are my friends. The people I work with are better to me then my wife ever was, but that’s my opinion. I will share the facts and you can decide for yourself I do support any comments on this matter.

I got married in July of 2012 to Beckie and she was amazing with her faith in GOD and her ability to DO WHAT IS RIGHT. But she changed the very day of our wedding. She became a liar. I say this because there is vows made during the marriage ceremony and we promise these vows to GOD.  This is when the demon came out. See Beckie had gone on a date with this man Robert while we were engaged. She told me about it and she told me he was gross, ugly and definitely to short for her taste. This guy Robert decided to send her flowers everyday after that date for almost a full month. I thought when I signed for the flowers he should feel like the fool but now I look back and say DANG I WAS THE FOOL..  Well Beckie never stopped talking to this guy. As a matter of fact she wouldn’t stop.

Then we got married and on our honeymoon she was playing games with him in the car on the way up and every time she had a moment while we were on our vacation.  I didn’t like it but I was not going to be a jealous person so I kept it to myself.  Then on our way home from our honeymoon my wife asks me if she can drop me off at my moms on the way home. She didn’t want to take me home and this is the moment the relationship shifted. She told me she needed time to prepare her kids for me moving in. I thought the 3yrs of dating and the kids all being teenagers knowing that we left to get married was more than enough notice.

We got home and she was mean the very first night In fact I spent some of the night crying in my closet because she was mean. All i could think at that moment was, how am I going to make this last the rest of my life if she is going to be so mean. I knew how it would be with love. And I did love her. She had always told me she needed a responsible man who worked. That has a future. I agreed, so I went to school full time from 4-10pm Monday – Thursday and i worked from midnight – 8:30am I had a good job. The down side was I only got to see my wife on the weekends.

Those weekends were difficult because I wanted to relax but i couldn’t she had 6 kids and they were all busy bodies. Beckie just kept getting more mean and I would try to communicate with her and she wouldn’t talk to me. It was because she was still talking to Robert. At this point I had enough so I went to our Bishop and told him about this and he told Beckie she was having an affair and she was in denial because her only comprehension of an affair is when its sexual. Both the bishop and I think if a woman is talking to another man more than her husband this is inappropriate. So the bishop and myself asked her to stop talking to Robert. She then through a fit and was incredibly mean from that point on.. When she was asked to choose between her husband and this other man she choose this other man, and that was late August.  Only a tiny bit more than a month of marriage and my wife is telling me she chooses another man over me … Her husband… This really hurt me.. I have waited my entire life to get married and I am only doing it once. Now I’m trying to survive this emotional dilemma with an abusive wife that wont be my friend.

I kept doing what i was supposed to do and she kept asking me why I was coming home everyday when she didn’t want me there. I dealt with this from August – December. Then in December she said that and more incredibly mean stuff to me in front of my son and I went into the bedroom to cry. Yes cry. I was hurt. My son followed me in there and couldn’t believe the abusive words Beckie choose to greet me with as I came home from work. I then had to tell my son that’s what I have been dealing with for months. Beckie soon after came into the bedroom to apologize and she told me she didn’t know why she is so mean to me but she is and she can’t stop it.

Then finally a couple of days later she finally sleeps in the same bed as me and I was so happy and half asleep but I reached out and put my arms around her because I loved her and she screamed. I was so hurt by that. and whats worse is she called the police to have me arrested and removed from her house. Now this sucked big time I had finals the very next day and I was on the honor roll. Now because of this I didn’t make it and in fact it screwed up my student loans because I didn’t get the credits I needed.  That day costed me a lot of money and the court records show that she planned this little event because she filled for annulment before that day.. She really didn’t want to keep her promise to GOD.  or to me.

I was thrown out of my house and left to survive on the streets. I only have my job and I didn’t know anyone to take me and yes i was homeless. Beckie then started to be nice again and we started talking. In fact she was having me come over on those Saturday nights I had off so we could have sex all night long. She would  sneak me in her backdoor of her house into her bedroom where little words would take place and it was all sex.  This lasted until April.

One night she told me she purchased a brand new house for 310 thousand and that I would be able to move back in and we could be a family and I would have my own space so i could feel at home. I was excited it was what I wanted and i was tired of being homeless. I was happy and I was out shopping when I came across a gift for her brother. I called Beckie and set up a day to bring it to her at work so that the kids wouldn’t know she was still talking to  me. Yeah I didn’t think much of it then but now It makes me mad… Why was she hiding the fact she was still seeing me.

I arrived at Beckies work and i was in a good mood as i walked to the front door when i looked over at her van i see a note on it. I didn’t think much of it but at that instant I felt the holy spirit tell me i should go get the note to give to Beckie. I got it and read it .. I was so hurt.. It was a love note from Robert.  I asked her if she was seeing someone and she said yes. And i started bawling she again was vicious and mean. she told me she had been seeing Robert for a few months now and wanted to pursue a relationship with him. I couldn’t believe it. This church going GOD loving woman just told her husband she is having an affair and she is done with me.  I immediately told the bishop who then gave me confidence that I was loved by GOD and the church and that this would  be dealt with. And then Beckie went in to talk to the bishop and nothing happened. NOT A DARN THING.  I contacted the bishop and asked why is this being aloud he said because she filled an annulment, that means our marriage never took place if it’s granted and therefore she is allowed to be in a relationship with this man Robert. (and we were still married)  I have not found anything from GOD in scripture or the bible that says this is ok. 

During this entire time I have been loosing $456.87 a month out of my check to pay for her and her kids on medical coverage. Beckie was paying me that money back since I am not able to remove them from my insurance plan. Beckie has purchased a new house, new van, and all new furniture for her new home and she paid CASH for all of it. While I am still her husband living on the street trying to save enough money to find a home.

I finally find a home and I have rent due I need her money to pay rent that she has always paid me so I don’t get evicted i am counting on this money as I can count on my paycheck.. I send Beckie a request through paypal like i always do and she responds with a restraining order.  All because it’s now a full year and she cannot get her annulment. The church told me that Beckie told them we were not together and the church has witnessed Beckie in this affair thinking we are not married.. GUESS WHAT WE ARE… Now we are going into divorce court and I cant believe how much of  a (big bad word) she is.  I can’t believe I need a tire for my transportation to keep me going to work she wont even help me when i have asked for it.. The church has told me to find another church and that is what the bishop told me back when i first complained about my wifes affair.

So here I sit worried that I can’t even count on my hard-earned money to pay my bills because some rich woman is taking from some poor guy like me to live life in sin.  I can’t believe what a horrible person she is . I can’t believe i aloud myself to be lied to so bad.  I swear felons and drug addicts are nicer and more dependable than this woman.

All i want is to be able to survive knowing that I made a promise to GOD that i cannot get out of even with divorce because GOD has not shown me he condones divorce.  I have great respect for the LORD and I wont break my promise. I just wish this woman who brags on how charitable she is and she has spent almost $500k this year and she wont even pay me what she owes me that i work hard for and/or she wont even just help me get one tire. I need 2 tires the front tire of my motorcycle is split also but the back is undriveable. Thats all i ask .

Am I asking for too much? Am I unreasonable?  I totally feel like it’s owed to me now that she wont pay me and now that I am going to end up homeless again because she all of a sudden wont pay me what she takes out of my check makes me really upset.  I can go on for hours on hos messed up she has been and I HATE HER MORE AND MORE because I cannot believe how much she lies. I have never been a man who wants to see someone get their pay back .. but this is heading that direction.  After all the crazy things I have witnessed in my life and all the ways i have seen people get collected on this could turn out to be the biggest collection effort ever.    I just want my money that I earned i am finally asking for a hand out BUY MY TIRES SO I CAN WORK PLEASE … Because of this turn of events and her selfish attitude.  i want this to be over and i want to move on but since she keeps making it this way i am finding it more difficult to just shut up and walk away.. She has ruined my life and she has used me and played me and continues to do so..

I can’t let this go I want my money, and I need it. Especially now more then ever. Its my money I worked for it and its spent on Beckie and her kids without me being able to stop it. I will only get $15 for a bonus check this week. I was doing good but since she started harassing my job it has made it more difficult to function.  Please , I do want to hear your comments.

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