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I used to think I knew when people matured. I figured if I did things my way I would be in control of the world around me. I was wrong. In fact, I have learned the more control I felt I had the less I knew about the changes that were already happening.

Caterpillars are the same in comparison. If you think a caterpillar will never change then you wont even notice when it forms a cocoon. We don’t normally watch for a caterpillar to undergo metamorphosis we usually notice when its not a caterpillar anymore. If we really want to understand this transformation we need to notice when it begins. If we don’t pay attention then that caterpillar will just fly away.

My son just graduated today from a career prep academy, and he will be graduating from high school day after tomorrow. I thought this entire time I have been guiding him, controlling his decision making andĀ enforcing my rules on himĀ like a parent does. This was a comfort to me his entire life. I believed I was in control and I was keeping him from being like I was at his age. I thought if I forced my beliefs on him and sheltered him from making my mistakes he would turn out better because I raised him that way. After all we want the best for our kids, right?

Now that graduation has made him into this man that I wanted. I realize he didn’t become this man because I made him that way. He became this man because he choose this for himself. It hit me hard when I noticed my child was all grown up wearing his cap and gown. He didn’t become this man because of the guidance I controlled, but by the lessons he learned by my mistakes. I wanted to believe I made him who he is now because I knew how to control what he needed to learn. In fact all he had to do was learn from my embarrassing moments.

Just like a caterpillar becomes a butterfly; our children become men. When its time to change then change happens. Let this be a message to anyone who reads this. We can control our selves, but when we control the world around us we miss out when metamorphosis begins. After all we cant change who they are; we can only guide them.